Student: My pencil broke.
Me: I'm sorry. The pencil sharpener's over there.
Student: My arm broke, too.
(The student's arm is obviously not broken.)
Me: I'm sorry. I don't have an arm sharpener.
Student: Can YOU sharpen my pencil?
Me: (Demonstrates something on clarinet)
Student: "Wow! Why does it sound so much better when you play it?!"
Me: "Well, how long have you played clarinet?"
Student: "A few months."
Me: "Right. And how long have I played clarinet?"
Student: "I don't know, like 30 years."
Yes, I came out of the womb having already played clarinet for 6 years. (I'm only 24.)
Submitted by: Maxwell H
I was talking about Donald Trump dropping the largest bomb and as I said this, one of my kid let out one of the largest farts.
Submitted by: Jenna B