Today was the 9th grade English Final. As the teacher I gave them a Exam Review Packet with EVERYTHING the students would need to 'Ace' the Final. However this particular student went in another direction when studying for her Final. Jesus.
Prior or to answering these questions, she answered a previous question: "who visited Johnny in the Hospital?'... she answered with 'Jesus'.
Unfortunately Jesus can't save her today on this exam.
Submitted by: Lauren N
Student 1: why did you two break up?
Student 2: well I told him if he didn't snap me back and we lost our streak I was breaking up with him!
Student 1: you broke up over a snapchat streak? Really?
Student 2: I don't care!! I told him he could either snap me back or find a new girlfriend. So we broke up.
Submitted by: Chase
UPDATE FROM CHASE: They got back together the next day but then broke up for the same reason. In her defense, they did have a 600 day streak.
Student: Hey, Matlock, can I write a whore story?
Me: A what?
Student: A whore story.
Me: About a prostitute?
Student: A what?
Me: I don't understand. What kind of story do you want to write?
Student: A scary story.
Me: Oh. Certainly. Listen, the word has two syllables: Hor-ror ... Hor-ror.
Submitted by: D. Matlock
Student A: Mrs. Bacon. Did you know that bears can run faster than horses?
Student B: Then why aren't we racing bears instead?!
She makes a good point.
Submitted by: Sarah