Me: “Good morning! Good morning! I need four ”Passer Outters!” *picks 4 students*
Aside: Students know to stay in their seat during this time while materials are being passed out.
Student 1: * walks towards me * “Um Mrs. A..”
Me: *Interrupting Student 1* “Let me stop you there. Where are we suppose to be and what should we be doing?”
Student 1: *glaring* “I forgot”
Aside: She just got back from a suspension.
Me: “That’s ok! I helped you remember!”
Student 1: “When did you stop being nice?”
Me: “Once again, is that what we’re suppose to be talking about?” * Points to the DGP on the board* “We can talk about my ‘niceness’ during your recess if you want?”
Student 1: “Nope. That’s fine.”
Me: “Good.” *walks away*
Student 1: * shouts out* “Mrs. Alund! Maybe we should talk about why you’re not wearing any make up.”
Me: “Sure thing. Like I said. During your recess. Today.”
Student: *hands me an apple*
Me: “You don’t want it?”
Student: “It’s for you.”
Me: “Aw thanks!”
Student: “I took it from (insert another student’s name here) for you.”
Scene: It's the beginning of class. I begin by giving my Cherubs the agenda for the day.
Student 1: (Without raising his hand) "Miss A! Miss A! Why aren't we going to watch part of the movie again?"
Students in the back grumble in agreement.
Me: (Overreacting) "Do you really want me to tell you my plan?"
Student 1: (Surprised) "What plan?"
Students in the back look up.
Student 2: "Tell us!"
Me: (Being extra dramatic) "Naw I shouldn't. You guys won't really care."
Student 3: "We'll care! Tell us!"
Me: (Looks dramatically off into the distance)
Students: (Shouting) "TELL US" "WE CARE" "I WANT TO KNOW" "JUST SHUT UP SO SHE'LL TELL"
Me: (Exhales loudly and throws arms down) "AUGH fine."
So we've been reading Percy Jackson and they really seem to like it! I showed them part of the movie yesterday in order to work on compare/contrast responses. I like to celebrate the end of Percy Jackson with Cabin Competitions (if you're unfamiliar with my competitions from last year, click here), eat some Greek Food, and watch the WHOLE movie with NO interruptions. My kids were extra excited by the option of bringing something that represents their cabin and/or dressing up for extra credit.
With that story summarized, let's continue...
Student 1: "Wait... Miss A.. So I'm in Dionysus. Can I bring wine?"
Me: "Um.. only if you want me to lose my job."
Student 1: "Ok. So what can I bring then?"
Me: "Well let's think what else could you do that represents him?"
Student 1: "Oh I know! Soda and cough syrup! Ya'll won't be able to handle that!"
Me: (Stares blankly for a few seconds) "No."
Me: (Stares blankly off again) "If you can hear my voice clap once"
Today my air conditioner broke. My room is 78 degrees and my little Northern Soul is slowly melting.
Student: “Ms. A I like your eyebrows!”
Me: “Thanks! I grew them myself!”
Student is clearly puzzled by this.
Student: “Your nails look pretty.”
Me: “Thank you! I painted them myself!”
Student, clearly shocked: “Whoa. Your mom let you.”
Me, whispers: “Well, she doesn’t know. But I think she’d let me.”
Student, whispers: “Whoa.”
Student’s eyes gets big.
Student: “Is it ‘cause you’re an adult?”
Scene: It’s before gym and we’re working on our reading. One first grader, A, just told me it’s her birthday today.
A: “Ms. A do you know what else?”
Me: “This is our last comment, ok? What else?”
A: “ When I was little and like and like a real baby.. um.. my name was still A”
7 other tiny hands shoot up
Owner of tiny hand #1: “I was a baby once.”
Owner of tiny hand #2: “Yeah I had a name too.”
Today's Tiny Teaching Land was filled with tiny kids crying, adult humans grumbling, and a few unedited, prematurely sent emails from an admin. The highlight of the day was an impressive flatulence and its journey down the hall of 1st graders. Like dominoes, their faces began to scrunch up to the odor until a student near the source began to cry. He got out of line saying, "YOUR FART SMELLS LIKE DEAD!"
Their scrunched up looks of pain may have been the highlight of my day, but the best part of my day left me speechless. E took handcuffs out of his backpack. I asked him where he got them and he said, "My mom's bedroom."
This year, I plan on sharing a bit more of my day to day activities in my classroom along with the typical humor that my darling students will definitely provide. If this interests you, please feel free to subscribe on the Home page or on the top (or bottom?) of your page.
Hopefully y'all will enjoy this years Tiny Teaching Edition. Also, here are a few pictures of my classroom :)
12th Grade Englishy Friends
Student J: “ Did you hear about all the scholarships our class got?!”
Me: “No, how much?”
Student J: “ 6 million! “ Picks up her phone says, “A, does Jacksonville do that?!”
Im assuming A mumbled something sarcastic back because J said, “Girl I got some of that money! It was easy! All I had to say was I’m a lesbian! I got money for being a lesbian!”
2nd grade Land
Student 1: “Ms Daley!” Hugs me then plays with the ties on my dress. “You look decent today!”
Me: “Just decent? I thought I looked pretty good!”
Student 1 : “Yeah, just decent.”
Student 2: “ That’s mean! She looks beautiful!”
Student 1: “ Quit sucking up just because you want markers.”
12th grade englishy friends
Teacher: “E, I’m going to need you to move your boulder.”
E: “iight. I’ll be back.”
Some time later.
E, busts through the door, kisses biceps, and says, “Mustang and Sally are ready.”
Student 1: “Ms. Daley, can ... * mumbles something while holding a thumb tack*”
Student 1 : “Ptt. Ms. Daley. Can I use the thumb tack and pick your nail polish off?
Me, exchanging looks with student 2 : “ I’m sorry, what?”
Student 2: “Boy! If you ask her something stupid one more time imma call your grandma!”
Student: “Ms. Daley, do girls poop?”
Before I can answer, Student M, a girl, stands up a passes gass.
M: “Does that answer your question?”
Me, acting my age, “What’s poop spelled backwards?”
Student G shouts, “Poop! *giggles intensely*
During recess, my cherubs “beat up” their imaginary friends. Excuse my laughter, I couldn’t help it.
Today in Teaching Land, a parent told me that her son started talking in his sleep about our class work. Apparently her older son woke up to my student mumbling something about CNN Student News. Her older son asked him again and he replied, “I just love CNN Student News.”
Scene: I finished up proctoring the ACT Aspire Reading test and walked back into my classroom. One of my students, S, ran over to me as I walked in the room.
S: “Ms. Daley, Ms. Crockett can draw. You can’t draw Ms. Daley!”
Me: “ Ok, S, Ms. Crockett is a great artist and I’m not but that was rude.”
S: “ Aw Ms. Daley but you drew something yesterday and it was good and Ms. Crocket just drew A and it was really good.”
Me: “Again! And what did I say to you yesterday?!”
Other Student: “She saiiiid if you’re going to make fun of her coat of arms drawing she ain’t gonna show you.”
Me: *hair flip* “Plus Ms. Crockett is an artist”