1. Two first graders commandeered our bathroom and decided to scoop their poop out of the toilet. Then they thought it was a good idea to put colored pencils in it.
2. I had to explain to three 7th graders what states are. They insisted that Cincinnati, spelled 'Synsinnatti,' was a state.
​3. I was not prepared for my voice to go away.

Scene: Today we started a lab on pulse. We wanted to see which exercise increased our pulse: jumping jacks, running, or meditation.

Me: "OK everyone! We have another round of jumping jacks!"
Student: "Are you serious? Ms. Daley, my testicles are sticking together."

Student 1: "I want to visit another country."
Student 2: "Yeah, I want to go to California."
Student 3: "You're in the 6th grade and you think California is a country? Dang fam."

As I was standing at the door, I overheard a conversation between a tiny human (1st grader) and a larger human (presumably the tiny human's father).

Larger human: *pats tiny human's forehead*" Why do you have crayon on your head?"
Tiny human: "I colored!"
Larger human: *takes his thumb, licks it and begins to rub the crayon off* "OK but why is it on your forehead?"
Tiny human: *turns his eyes upward* "I don't see anything. It's there?"
Larger human: *still scrubbing the crayon off* "Yes it is. What happened to you?" *begins to escort tiny human out the door*
Tiny human: *puts hands in front of his eyes* "But I still can't see it!"