I need to brag on my cherubs for a second because I am so extremely proud of them. We have finished taking our Winter NWEA test. On average, the class grew 9 points from the fall NWEA. Almost every student exceeded their growth goal (two students stayed the same).

Today was a good win in my Teaching Land.

At the end of the school year, I included a few extra points in the directions of their final. All they had to do was draw a cat somewhere on their test.

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It's the most wonderful time of the year!  

​Just kidding.  


​To all my non-teacher readers, standardized testing is the worst.  Yes, the absolute worst. You are forced to sit in a stuffy room with nothing. You can't read, grade, or design life changing and thought provoking curriculum.  Nope.  You have to sit and stare at your cherubs taking a test.  Most of them finish early so they just stare back at you which is awkward because you end up pondering random things: Is this a staring contest? Should I blink first? If I blink first, will they think I'm weak? Oh wait, is he doing morse code - two blinks means, what? Are they staring at me or the clock? Did I just stare down a kid? Great, am I the weird teacher now? Did he just drool? 
This article, "The 10 Stages of Monitoring a Standardized Test," does an amazing job of showing what monitoring a test is like. Step 8 really hit me today.  I may have convinced myself I was having a heart attack. I was in mid daydream (Specifically, I was in the ambulance surrounded by the Grey's Anatomy cast) when I burped.  Totally survived that "heart attack." 

Anyways, I digress.

Because this is the first day of AP Testing, I decided to keep a "SHHH" tally, a "OMG-the-announcements-came-on-during-the-test" tally, and a "Misc." tally.  Judge all you want.  It helped me stay sane.  

SHHH Tally: 33 times someone said "shhh" in the hallway
OMG-the-announcements-came-on-during-the-test Tally: 3 
Misc.:

• Student 1 fell asleep and face planted on his desk.  He immediately woke up rubbing his nose. 
• Student 2 fell asleep and woke up due to his own seat vibrating flatulence. ​

May all your testing be merry and bright. 

Sometimes teaching land isn't full of rainbows and butterflies, but actually full of demon spawns that only want to cause destruction and mayhem.  Usually "Mondays" bring out the demons but this week we start testing. Specifically standardized testing.  Standardized testing on a Monday. It's the most wonderful time of the year (said no one ever)! 

​Let's set the scene: This is the first day of a five week ACT Aspire testing period.  I decided to give my cherubs a little pep talk.  I busted out my arsenal full of platitudes:  "You can do this!", "Never give up and never surrender!", "Take the test and don't let it take you!", "It's just one day and one test! It can't measure how awesome you are!"
My lame attempt at motivating them seemed to set off the mayhem mode in their brains.  Ever try reasoning with 25+ kids why they have to do something when you don't fully understand why?  Maybe you have.  If so, I raise my glass to you. 

Here are a few exchanges that shortly followed: 

Class 1
Student 1: "Why do we have to do this? This is so stupid." *throws pencil*
Student 2: " You're acting too ghetto right now." 
Student 3: "Ms. Daley, I can't imagine being a teacher.  You must be so sick of hearing your name." 
Me: *laughs then helps student 1* 
Student 3: "Ms. Daley! Ms. Daley! RACHEL ELIZABETH DALEY"
Me: "One second!"
Student 3: "Fam, why won't you answer me?" 
Me: "Because I'm helping Student 1." 
Student 2: "You don't get paid enough for this..."
Student 1: "You should just quit." 

Class 2 
Student 1: "This is so stupid.  I hate this place." 
Student 2: "Quiet your dusty whore mouth." 
Student 1: "Don't call me dusty or I'll throw a lamp at your mom."