Sometimes teaching land isn't full of rainbows and butterflies, but actually full of demon spawns that only want to cause destruction and mayhem. Usually "Mondays" bring out the demons but this week we start testing. Specifically standardized testing. Standardized testing on a Monday. It's the most wonderful time of the year (said no one ever)!
Let's set the scene: This is the first day of a five week ACT Aspire testing period. I decided to give my cherubs a little pep talk. I busted out my arsenal full of platitudes: "You can do this!", "Never give up and never surrender!", "Take the test and don't let it take you!", "It's just one day and one test! It can't measure how awesome you are!"
My lame attempt at motivating them seemed to set off the mayhem mode in their brains. Ever try reasoning with 25+ kids why they have to do something when you don't fully understand why? Maybe you have. If so, I raise my glass to you.
Here are a few exchanges that shortly followed:
Student 1: "Why do we have to do this? This is so stupid." *throws pencil*
Student 2: " You're acting too ghetto right now."
Student 3: "Ms. Daley, I can't imagine being a teacher. You must be so sick of hearing your name."
Me: *laughs then helps student 1*
Student 3: "Ms. Daley! Ms. Daley! RACHEL ELIZABETH DALEY"
Me: "One second!"
Student 3: "Fam, why won't you answer me?"
Me: "Because I'm helping Student 1."
Student 2: "You don't get paid enough for this..."
Student 1: "You should just quit."
Student 1: "This is so stupid. I hate this place."
Student 2: "Quiet your dusty whore mouth."
Student 1: "Don't call me dusty or I'll throw a lamp at your mom."