I pride myself on being funny* but sometimes I don't realize I am funny.
*I'm not funny. At all. I yell at my students to laugh at my "dad" jokes.
Me: "Crap! I need white out! Does anyone have any?"
Student: "Just use your finger."
Me: *looks at finger* *looks at paper* *places finger on paper* *picks up finger* *realizes my finger is white*
Student (who saw my realization): "Dang fam"
At least, on this day, she wrote neatly.
Scene: grammar jeopardy with a bunch of competitive 10th graders.
Me: Question for 300: what is the noun form of the word 'borrowed'?
Me: The answer is borrower.
Student: "Borrower?! That ain't a word!"
Me: "Yes it is. Sit down."
Scene: I'm reading "The Monkey's Paw" to my lovely cherubs. In the middle of the introduction of part 1, a scholar said:
"So I've been thinking. What do you actually have going for you? You're not married. You don't have a cat and you don't have kids."
I stared at them for a good 30 seconds (I've been practicing my wait time) and said, "I actually have a cat."
This is definitely first place worthy.